


Texts/Messages I Have That Could Totally Be Fan Fiction

by LadyZeppelin1111 (QueenBoudica1770)



Category: Deep Purple (Band), Led Zeppelin, Real Person Fiction, Rock Music RPF, The Rolling Stones
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cell Phones, Chatting & Messaging, Conversations, F/M, Funny, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Led Zeppelin References, M/M, Other, Sexual Humor, Sheep, Texting, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBoudica1770/pseuds/LadyZeppelin1111
Summary: It turns out my messenger and text messages to my long suffering friends can be hilarious, at least for me hahaha. All kindsa Led Zeppelin, Terry Reid, and Deep Purple references and scenarios abound. These could probably be turned into some funny ass fan fic lol. Warning: for me self inserting. God, that sounds so vulgar rofl.Somewhat edited for efficiency and condensed for brevity, these are, in fact, actual conversations my hyperfixated, neurotic ass has had. As it's messaging, all the spelling/grammar left as it was for the most part.Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Terry Reid'n

**Author's Note:**

> In which Terry Reid has shared my art of him on his page, thanked me, then liked the Robert Plant wearing a T shirt that reads "Terry Fuckin Reid" on it fanart I did. No, seriously, he did, and I proceeded to lose my mind. The entire thing.
> 
> Say a prayer for my sister and my friends, they're gonna need it lol.
> 
> Also Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple shtuff.

The convo with me and my sister, who keeps trying to get me laid lol but TERRY REID BITCHES

Me: so I forgot I had tagged Terry Reid in this https://www.instagram.com/p/CBY3zvqnnx9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link  
...and he liked it on instagram last night lol  
HE KNOWS NOW  
OMG

Sis: lol  
Sis: Wow and apparently he is ok with it lmao

Me: yeah lololol ohhhh lort

Sis: Terry Reid must be a pretty cool guy

Me: I should probably tell him I made the t shirt up, he'll be calling up Robert going "So Percy, big fan, are ya?" and Robert be all like huh?  
OH GAWD  
WWHATDOIDOOOOO  
lol  
I'd totally wear that t shirt if it was real.  
lol

Sis: Yeah I would too. Maybe you should give Terry some explanation on the shirt lol.

Me: lol. I had copied and pasted hashtags from one of the other drawings that I'd tagged him in and didn't pay attention. but he's apparently cool with it lmao.

Sis: Lmao. He sounds like a cool guy

Me: man I'd so drive to Arizona or wherever he's at (I don't remember) lmao  
I'm kinda losing my mind

Sis: Maybe you should hook up with Terry reid lol.

Me: Wtf?? God, you and my sex life. lmao. looks like your grampa, sounds like an angel, dresses pretty snappy tho lmao

Sis: If you're into grandpa's the rest sounds good lol

Me: lol well I'm not really into grampas but he's pretty cool rofl.

Well you might should go find him lol

Me: lololol oh gawd 😛  
12:07 PM  
Me: That’d be weird lol

Sis: Maybe not. He has lots of experience lol

Me: lol yeah, maybe more than I bargained for  
I mean, the rolling stones discovered him at 16 so it's hard to say what he been up to lmao

Sis: Lol. But you could say yo did a famous person lol

Me: lmao true but whaaaat

Sis: Maybe he could introduce you to Robert lol

Me: hahahahah. be like hey man, call Percy!  
see what he's doing!  
wink wink nudge nudge  
I'd be the meat in that sammich oh lorrrrt lmao

Sis: Lmao I bet you would lol.

Me: so yeah, in this fictional universe where I somehow befriend Terry without getting the cops called on me, me and Terry show up at Robert's house, he's all like wtfffff  
Terry's like, hey mate, you know her?  
Robert's like: .....wot.  
Terry: she drew a picture of you wearing a t shirt of me! it was awesome!  
Then she drew pics of me!  
...I'm cuter than you btw, Percy.  
Robert: ...why is she jumping up and down and waving her arms?  
Terry: Well, she's a bit of a fan, you could say...uh...*whispers please take her, she's driving me crazy

Sis: Lmao. Robert wouldn't know what he's getting into.

Me: lmao  
Terry runs off into the distance, and I'm standing there staring at Robert.  
Two weeks later  
Tower House, cell phone rings. Jimmy: Hello? Oh, hi, Robert.  
You have a suprise for me? Well what is it?  
I have to come there to get it? It better be bloody well worth it...  
Robert's house. Robert, with hide worn off him: yeah, I'll meet you at the airport. Please hurry.  
Me, running around the house pantsless screaming my head off.

Sis: Lol. You'd break poor little Jimmy. He better hand you off to jonesy fast lol

Me: hahahahahaha  
Jimmy be like DAMN YOU ROBERT  
Robert gets like209897978 angry voicemails from Jimmy  
lol

Sis: Robert probably tells him to take it up with Terry lol.

Me: Jimmy calls Jonesy.  
Jonesy: Hullo? Oh Hi Jimmy. What's up?  
What's that noise in the background?  
*me running around Tower House in a medieval breastplate pantsless screaming

Jimmy: Oh, nothing much. Say. You gonna be in London anytime soon? I umm...got something for you.

Sis: Poor jonesy lmao. He has a temper he would kill them all lol

Me: lmao he probably would  
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!  
lol  
then they all go find Terry to kick his ass lmao

Sis: Poor terry. He would be like it's not my fault all I did was like a picture lol

Me: ROFL bless his heart  
then the Stones would get pissed off if anything happened to Terry  
Then mom would get pissed off if anything happened to the Stones lmao

Sis: Lmao she would. It would probably cause a war between zeppelin and the stones lol

Me: Robert would just grab Mick Jagger and beat the shit out of the others with him lmao  
while Jonesy does a flying drop kick rofl

Sis: Yeah. I think the members of zeppelin have held up better than the stones lmao

Me: rofl yeah bless their hearts

Me and my friend MV who I do a podcast with, where we fangirl and fanboy and bitch about shit. Also, people worried about my dating life. Is this some kinda hint???

MV: And I also have a name for this guitar. Butterscotch.  
That the color description it had that's its name.  
Now I can finally sleep.  
If the voices don't get me. LOL  
Just so you know, I'll be framing your note. LOL.  
Thank you again.  
Just so you know as well,  
On your first date I'll be making a solo podcast episode what the C(his nickname) realizes he's alone and searches for the RW (my nickname). Invading her pad. LOL  
Aug 1, 2020, 9:17 AM

Me: Butterscotch is s good name lol  
C gets himself into trouble lmao

MV: Not really. He just doesn't know the RW is on a date.

Me:Lol WHERE IS SHE???

MV: Pretty much that.  
Like you hear sounds of opening and closing closet doors, cabinets, kitchen, etc.

Me: Aww lol

MV:And him commenting on certain things he finds.  
Like it would sound dirty at first but then come to find out it's something mundane.

Me: Hahaha

MV:Like a vibrating noise, but the listener realizes it's a coffee stirrer.

Me: Rofl

MV: He just finds random things that he happens to find. Then describes it like something else at first or appears to be something else until he realizes it.  
While also commenting on finding LZ, Steve, and other normal paraphernalia  
LOL. Maybe a blow up Jimmy Page doll but it's not a sex toy.

Me: Lolololol  
The normal RW stash

MV: It’s a promotional item for one of his albums.  
Oh! While we are on the subject of LZ. *posts new Robert Plant song with Patty Griffin*

Me: Methinks he's bangin Patty Griffin again hahaha. I mean, I totally would. WHUT 

And back to the Terry Reid, with my friend, who I’ll call W, who’s put up with my online shenanigans for years now. Also, I discovered the awesome that is Glenn Hughes lol

Me: I’d totally wear that t shirt if it was real. maybe he would too lolololol  
That would be awesome

W: I’m sure he's flattered to have a fan artist

Me: he seems to be a really nice guy haha  
I hope he don't think I'm a creeper.  
I mean, I kinda am, but I'm harmless lol

W: I’m sure he has creepier fans. Lol

Me; It’s not like I'd drive out to where he's at and camp out there or anything...  
ahem. lol

W: :D

Me: Ok, I'm MOSTLY harmless  
I mean, Bill Moseley survived my decades long hyperfixation.  
...barely  
I can't help it, I'm kinda losing my mind

W: XD

Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4fDCwDiWJQ (Deep Purple Video)  
and now I'm cheating on Robert with Glenn and David lol  
SHHH don't tell him

W: Lol! I'm sure they would understand. It's all rock and roll

Me: for some reason Glenn Hughes hit me like a sack of bricks. lmao.  
Came for David Coverdale, stayed for Glenn lmao  
W: That’s been known to happen. 😛

Me: just reread what I wrote hmm maybe should've phrased it differently lmao

W: Nah! It's what you meant. 😉

Me: bwahaahah


	2. The Battle of Evermore Extravaganza and More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I found the 1977 Seattle concert with them doing the Battle of Evermore live, with John Paul Jones singing the female part. We kinda exaggerated at how bad it was, but it was funny. Me and the sister, doing our thang.
> 
> Some sheep and Robert's hair being on fire was involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I don't think it was actually Eddie Kramer who mixed Led Zeppelin II, it may have been Andy Johns or whatever. This took place over the course of a day of work and a hella lotta booze, so I'm surprised I was typing.
> 
> But man, watch us fangirl.
> 
> FANGIRLLLLLLL.

2

Me: https://youtu.be/TTFQlb1FWDE?t=4955 the most bizarre live version of battle of evermore I've ever seen lmao  
featuring more chunky robert lmao  
and Jonesy...man.. WTF  
robert using an early voice digitizer freaked me out lol

Sis: What the hell was up with jonesy and how did he get voted to sing the girls part lmao

Me: I don't know, like whaaaat. NO JONESY, NO  
with a thick ass accent

Sis: Surely Jimmy or bonzo could have done better than jonesy lol.

Me: lol should've let Jimmy, his nasally London twang would've been better lol  
when an electronic robotic echo of robert started bouncing around after he sang I almost peed myself  
out of fear  
lol  
dude I can't even comprehend...gonna watch it again lmao  
ROBERT LEAVE THE ELECTRONICS ALONE, MAN  
and have a salad. J/K Robert looks awesome AS EVER. sigh.

Sis: Yeah that was crazy. I can't get over how bad jonesy was lol. They probably did put Robert on a diet lol.

Me: I’m like good god he's tone deaf  
he can play every instrument known to man but sing he can't

Sis: Seriously who voted to let him sing. Did bonzo suggest it as a joke and everyone else decided to go along with it lol.

Me: lmao that woulda been hilarous. Bonzo drunk going "Wot, we can't faind a chick to do the part and ye wanna dew it? pffft, jus' get ol' Jonesy, hahaha! hic  
then Jimmy was like Brilliant! yeah!

Sis: Robert was probably like I can out sing jonesy if i was in the hospital with pneumonia. Really guys this is your answer

Me: lololololol  
Jonesy's like "I can do it, guys! let me, oh let me!"  
Bonzo: Mate, I was jus' kiddin'!  
Robert: get back in your corner and play the organ!  
Jimmy: Oh it's perfect, that way we don't have to find some girl and we don't have to listen to Robert try to harmonize with that stupid toy..harmonizer...thingy...  
👍1  
Robert: stares daggers at Jimmy

Sis: Robert: have you tried harmonizing with someone who is tone deaf jimmy

Me: lmao  
Jimmy: it'll save money! He's fine!  
Jonesy: YEEEEE!

Sis: Jimmy: see look how happy he is. We cant make him cry right robert

Me: Robert: This is all your fault, Bonzo!!!

Sis: Bonzo: i didnt think they would take it serious but good luck singing with jonesy lol.

Me: Robert: *has tantrum  
Jimmy yells: EAT A SALAD, ROBERT  
Jonesy: I get to be in the spotlight!

Sis: Jonesy: I'm going to tell everyone I know to come watch us

Me: rofl  
all Jonesy;s extended family shows up  
studio musician friends  
all of Wales for no reason  
everyone else cringes

Sis: Theyre probably like wtf where did all these Welsh come from. Is that jonesy whole family as well??

Me: lmao omg  
DAMMIT JONESY  
Jimmy: Well, this is the happiest I've seen him in a while

Sis: Bonzo: this shit gonna be hilarious. Do you think theyre all tone deaf? Maybe they could sing along lol.

Me: Robert: This is horrible, it's what it is. OH GOD IS THAT SHEEP??  
Robert stress eats a platter of hamburgers

Sis: Jonesy: uncle Billy from Wales doesnt go anywhere without his favorite sheep Betsy.

Me: Jimmy: Well, now that's different...  
Jimmy: ROBERT STOP EATING, HERE HAVE SOME OF MY HEROIN  
Bonzo: Can I pet Betsy?

Sis: Jimmy: chill out Robert jonesy is happy, his family is happy, bonzo looks happy he is hugging Betsy and Betsy looks happy. Now stop eating

Me: Baaaaaa  
lol  
drinks some of Bonzo's booze  
Robert sobs into his cheese fries

Sis: Poor Robert lol.

Me: whew lmao  
I'm sitll like, who thought that was a good idea

Sis: I dont know but I figure Jimmy or bonzo could have done better lol.

Me: me too, jeez  
I’m still baffled at the weird electronic voice thing too. maybe Robert was trying to cover up Jonesy lol

Sis: Maybe they just dont have the heart to tell jonesy hes tone deaf lol  
roflmao

Me: Jonesy’s like It's my time to shine!

Sis: Roberts not the only singer around here  
Lmao

Me: lololololol

(Next is the alternate version of Whole Lotta Love, complete with 67% more Satan)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9d_3sIDvfU&t=356s  
ok so this was one of the semi-final versions they were doing master mixes of, and it's a lot like the version that made it to the album. but man. this version sounds evil. lol  
especially with headphones. there's some subtle demonic shit going on with the vocals, the middle part, the guitars, the effects on pretty much everything  
it's darker in tone. I doubt if it woulda got played on the radio. it sounds cursed to me lol  
sorry, the song I'm referring to is Whole lotta love, the first one in that mix  
It's giviing me story idea. cursed song. SERIOUSLY THAT VERSION OF WHOLE LOTTA LOVE IS FREAKING ME OUT AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. the differences are subtle but yeah  
the last minute of the song..wtf is happening. the theremin sounds like it had a baby with a bass guitar, violin and a demon. what is going on  
it's what a party in hell would sound like lmao.

Sis: I thought it was good but it was darker. The last minute especially was different. It does sound like it could be cursed or something.

Me: Like DAMMIT JIMMY I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVITE DEMONS OVER WHEN WE'RE RECORDING

Sis: Lol. Jimmy is probably like I forgot but only 2 showed up so it's fine lol.

Me: that version of whole lotta love is like the Fury of the Demon of songs  
like people who listen to it start fuckin shit up lmao

Sis: Lmao that would be cool.

Me: the sound engineer Eddie Kramer is mixing that version (jimmy picked it of course) and smoke starts spewing from the speakers and headphones,. Eddie's head is burned and there's blood coming out of the soundboard.  
DAMMIT JIMMY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???

Sis: Jimmys probably like I rocked so hard it killed Eddie. I'm awesome is what happened lol.

Me: Jimmy’s like I'm so friggin awesome!!!  
Robert's flipping the fuck out  
lol  
Jimmy: we're gonna make billions of dollars!! wooo!  
Bonzo's like who's gonna clean up this mess! look here's a stray imp running around. He better stay out of me liquor cabinet

Sis: Jonesy is probably like I draw the line at killing people. We will have to re record this to tone the awesomeness down a little lol.

Me: rofl  
Robert's poking Eddie with a stick and going "EW"

Sis: Bonzos probably like should we bury him lol.

Me: lmao sounds like him  
Jonesy's like now Percy's gonna have nightmares

Sis: Bonzos like oh Lord that means he will be sleeping with me. And he cuddles like a woman. Jimmy I'm going to kill you lol.

Me: lololololol  
meanwhile Jimmy's like I'M SO AWESOME I AWESOMED THE WHOLE STUDIO  
Jonesy then has to re-mix the take and make it 67% less Satan

Sis: Lol. Cause too much statan cause people to die lol. You have to have just the right amount lol.

Me: lmao it's a fine line  
meanwhile, jimmy made a copy and hid it while cackling evilly

Sis: Yeah that sounds like Jimmy. Lol.

Me: to make anyone who pisses him off listen to  
then Bonzo kept the stray imp and named him Charlie

Sis: That sounds like bonzo lol.

Me: Jonesy getting a bowl of cereal and opens up the cabinet: Bonzo, charlie's in the cereal cabinet again!  
Now my lucky charm's gonna smell like brimstone!  
while at the same time Robert Plant's running screaming down the hallway with his hair on fire 'DAMMIT BONZO CHARLIE SLEPT IN MY BED WITH ME AND SET MY HAIR ON FIRRRRE!"

Sis: Not the hair lol

Me: Jimmy and your stupid demonic song!  
meanwhile a bald, bandaged Eddie Kramer is mixing songs for the Rolling Stones and hides under tables whenever he hears Led Zeppelin

Sis: Lol. Dont blame him. I would hide too lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys got a chuckle, kudos me, hit me up, slap me down, gimme some loves, heyyyyooo.

**Author's Note:**

> As I dig up more of these I may post them, if anyone enjoys these and gets a giggle from it.
> 
> Let me know what ya think, but please, don't be too harsh, I'm still on cloud 9 lmao.
> 
> Love kudos and comments!


End file.
